the brownie rules
Confession:
I have a few things that I am snobbish about (depending on who you ask), but one of those things is using cake mixes. For some odd reason, it is ingrained into my subconscious that by using a mix- no matter how doctored up- it is "cheating" at cooking. Perhaps this is due to my recent cake decorating fetish...perhaps this reflects on a dark childhood memory...perhaps at birth I was given the curse of unnecessary guilt by the evil fairy...
Whatever the reason, I have to be in a very tight pinch to use a cake mix, and then I make all kinds of lame excuses to whoever is forced to eat the boxed dessert, no matter how beautifully decorated.
Bakers guilt. It's a serious thing that therapists should spend more time curing.
But, for another odd reason, I have no problem using a brownie mix.
In fact, on a calm, almost fallish evening- such as tonight- there is almost nothing better than whipping up a pan of "fake" brownies and indulging in the still warm tasty treat while catching up on some
evening TV shows
conversation with your spouse.
But in order to use a brownie mix and not feel guilty, there are a couple of rules.
1. The brownies MUST be slightly underdone. There is a magical window of appropriate bake time for brownies. If left in for a second too long...said brownies become too cake-like. and are ruined. ruined. (not being over dramatic. just stating a fact)
When the tester fork goes in the middle of the pan, it must come out slightly sticky, so that as the brownies cool, the middle layer sinks into a dark, wet like, fudgy consistency that soothes away all guilt of using that mix instead of mixing up brownies from scratch. It's hard to feel guilty when your stomach is that happy.
2. The brownies MUST make a 9x13 pan. I love the concept of some of these super duper fancy brownies mixes, but there are few more dramatic let downs than realizing that your pan of brownies is half the size of what you were imagining. The fancier the brownie mix, the smaller the pan you're supposed to bake them in. The doubled chocolate, swirled fudge, complete with nuts and large chunks dipped in more chocolate and fudge crusted in a separate brownie mix entirely??? yeah, you might as well just bake it in a custard cup.
I have a few things that I am snobbish about (depending on who you ask), but one of those things is using cake mixes. For some odd reason, it is ingrained into my subconscious that by using a mix- no matter how doctored up- it is "cheating" at cooking. Perhaps this is due to my recent cake decorating fetish...perhaps this reflects on a dark childhood memory...perhaps at birth I was given the curse of unnecessary guilt by the evil fairy...
Whatever the reason, I have to be in a very tight pinch to use a cake mix, and then I make all kinds of lame excuses to whoever is forced to eat the boxed dessert, no matter how beautifully decorated.
Bakers guilt. It's a serious thing that therapists should spend more time curing.
But, for another odd reason, I have no problem using a brownie mix.
In fact, on a calm, almost fallish evening- such as tonight- there is almost nothing better than whipping up a pan of "fake" brownies and indulging in the still warm tasty treat while catching up on some
But in order to use a brownie mix and not feel guilty, there are a couple of rules.
1. The brownies MUST be slightly underdone. There is a magical window of appropriate bake time for brownies. If left in for a second too long...said brownies become too cake-like. and are ruined. ruined. (not being over dramatic. just stating a fact)
When the tester fork goes in the middle of the pan, it must come out slightly sticky, so that as the brownies cool, the middle layer sinks into a dark, wet like, fudgy consistency that soothes away all guilt of using that mix instead of mixing up brownies from scratch. It's hard to feel guilty when your stomach is that happy.
3. The brownies MUST be served warm (preferably over vanilla ice cream) Seriously, it should be a crime to offer a cold brownie. The warm, melty texture of a perfectly baked, fudgey brownie as it settles down under generous scoops of creamy ice cream that melt into the chocolaty goodness in an almost sinful way is enough to make your heart go pitter patter and your eyes light on brownie fire.
Exception: Of course the leftovers may be served cold the next day...settled down in their fudge-like ecstasy with a cup of coffee...
Exception: Of course the leftovers may be served cold the next day...settled down in their fudge-like ecstasy with a cup of coffee...
If these rules are followed- happiness is not too far behind.
I do realize that some people might prefer a cakey, fancy, cold brownie- and I'm certainly not one to judge.
but
really?
note #1: each brownie session should be followed by an hour of zumba to really shake things up (boy, I do miss zumba class)
note #2: if you're cursing me right now for unintentionally tempting you to break a carefully planned diet with a pan of deliciously gooey brownies...just be thankful that I'm not whining about still being pregnant....trust me. This post is the lesser of the two evils.
note #3: if you do make a pan of deliciously underdone brownies and can get to my house before they've cooled down...I will talk you out of the guilt that you might feel by eating them, socially, with me, of course. (I'll even provide the ice cream)
note #4: I made a pan of brownies tonight. And let them cook slightly too long because of the amount of time it took me to get off the couch once I heard the timer ding. They are too cakey. And disgusting. If that is the kind of brownie you prefer, check out the heaped crumbs on my front step tomorrow morning...first come first serve.
note #5: this is a Chubbs approved post. she
loves brownies and will do
almost anything for one (except walk...)
What are your brownie rules?
What are your brownie rules?