I used to dream about Christmas with children.

They would excitedly open their presents and beam with happiness as every wish was realized with the crinkle of the perfectly creased wrapping paper. I would lounge nearby with a cup of coffee, relaxing and relishing the moment...wistfully thinking how my babies were growing up too fast. The family would chat, eat too many calories and laugh hysterically at nothing while the children continued to play quietly by the tree. The dream then got a bit hazy as I didn't know how it would end...perhaps like the Sound of Music scene where the children sing (in perfect harmony, of course) a good night song. Addison would do the lead in and Carter would dance behind...both of them floating up the staircase to their beds with smiles of glee permanently etched on their faces as they drift off to sleep thinking thoughts of pure thankfulness for their presents (and of course...their mommy). The adults would continue to party late into the night (after all, there is only one Christmas a year) while the children slept peacefully in the foreign beds at Gwampa and Gwandma's house...

and then, I had actual children.

I guess it never occurred to me that there would be several years of STRESS as the children both got off of their perfectly ordered schedules...spit up on the wrong people's shoulders (ahem Carter), scream hysterically and then refuse to sleep (for THREE HOURS) when put in the crib (ahem Addison), refuse to participate in present opening (ahem Carter and Addison), take turns demanding attention with various food needs/diaper changes/whiny moments right when I tried that relaxing thing I had heard so much about...pretty much creating chaos and drama wherever their deceptively cherub-looking chubby faces ended up...

I lie not...Addison lost SO MUCH sleep this weekend that not only did her croup return, but her body started turning on itself...creating an almost entire body petechia-like rash...sending me in a giant panic....schlepping her to the doctor and then to the hospital where they OPENED THE LAB JUST FOR US to make sure that she hadn't developed leukemia over the weekend (if you think I am overly nervous... you try having a child born with transient leukemia and see if you jump at every red freckle on your child's body)

so yeah...I feel a bit like I'm recovering from a month of all nighters...plus too much caffeine....plus constant wrestling of two twenty pound chunky pigs (I would say babies...but who wrestles babies???)...plus the usual Christmas drama of "will my dish turn out OK" and "I wish I had been able to lose 10 more pounds before this party" and "I hope I got them the right gift"

deep breaths.

I'm glad I got some pictures. This way I can pretend that the entire weekend was magical and wonderful (it did have some really great moments...sandwiched between two needy babies... and I do dearly love those needy babies)

and the inward celebration of the true meaning of Christmas and overwhelming thankfulness for being showered with goodness....

I choose to remember only the good...and am trying to will away this scratchy throat...and am silently singing

There's a sad sort of clanging
From the clock in the hall
And the bells in the steeple, too
And up in the nursery
An absurd little bird
Is popping out to say coo-coo
(Coo-coo, coo-coo)
So long, farewell
Auf Wiedersehen, goodnight

I hate to go and leave this pretty sight

and imagining Addison and Carter dressed up like cute little Austrian children...

I'm sure ten years from now when my children are actually like that (insert loud guffaws from future Deanna) I will be looking back and wishing they were cute little babies again...someone please remind me to read this post at that time...

Hope your Christmas was merry...and that you don't need quite as long of a recovery time as I do...(see you in February)

So Long, Farewell

(hey hey hey...there's still a day left in the giveaway....ENTER...or I will sick this sore throat on you...and both children)